Volunteering in my neighbourhood

I've been thinking about volunteering for an organisation/charity/support group that deals with miscarriage and still birth. 

Based on my personal experience I found it incredibly difficult to find an organisation or someone I could relate to when I lost Ella.  Four weeks after her death I scrabbled about with the miscarriage booklet the hospital had given me and phoned the UK charity, Sands. 

An old lady took my call and every now and again, sounding lost in thought, she said 'hmmmm' or 'sorry'.  I told her my name, Ella's name but she didn't offer hers.  After 20 minutes the impossibly difficult conversation came to a dismal end and I said goodbye.  I remember crawling back into bed and wanting to die. 

Earlier this morning I walked to the local children's centre in my home town of Woodbridge to enquire after volunteering.  The young woman there spoke of a national miscarriage organisation I could try and gave me the details.  I asked if the centre perhaps had any openings for volunteers on a broader scale, perhaps mentoring, but they're not taking volunteers at this stage.

So for the past hour I've been using google and have found 2 possible leads for organisations in Ipswich.  I've rung both numbers - one kicked into an answer phone and the other call was answered by a woman who said they currently weren't in the process of offering volunteer placements. 

FOR GOD'S SAKE!  I know there is a massive need for this.  After we lost Ella I initially thought I could cope on a wing and a prayer - I come from a deeply loving family but they have often been of the mindset that you just have to 'get up and get on'.  A mindset I always thought relevant until I faced loss on every level.

Grief isn't kind, it doesn't push you onwards and upwards.  It strangles you, it suffocates you and it bleeds.your.heart.dry.  Some days the light is clear and bright and your footsteps soft and gentle.  Other days darkness falls and every emotion is twisted and contorted within the grasp of the devil's claw. 

Support should be easy to locate, especially via the internet.  But having looked then and now I know it's not easy. Hope, Courage, Tears & Tea.  That's the name of a group I'm considering starting either in person or via the web.  A place where women can talk, take tea, talk or just be.  A place where someone can stretch out a hand and say, 'tell me about your baby - how are you coping - would you like tea?'

A mountain is never easy to climb, but it just takes a step.  I'll let you know how I go.