I've just had a glance over my most recent posts, the posts I've written since Leo arrived. They're all a jumble of words and a mish mash of emotions....this is what happens when a little one crashes into your life.
We're now seven weeks in and it's incredible how the brain is capable of erasing the hours of pain, anguish and disbelief of immediate motherhood by replacing it with joy, happiness and most of all deep, unconditional love. Why else would we do it all again?!
However the following has managed to stay with me (which is a miracle really) so should any expectant mother ask I will tell her:-
In the early days breast feeding is a frikkin' painful and exhausting experience. Your tiny baby yanks, sucks, drags and pulls on your nipples like a wild animal. No one said you could get blisters dotted on them which hurt like sea salt on a fresh, open wound. THEY DO HEAL & IT DOES GET EASIER & you can drink red wine.
Nipple shields. Had the lovely nurse at the hospital not given me one to use on the first night I would have had nipples in tatters by the time dawn broke.
How shockingly massive and engorged your boobs become on day 4. They looked like rock cakes - Chris's eyes were out on stalks. Cabbage leaves are not to be sniffed at, neither is a scalding shower.
Breast pads. Superb invention, but do check what way round you stick them in your bra. I stuck them to my nipples...it was dark.
Baby hands - not my baby's soft and lovely hands, but parent hands that aren't used to carrying around such a precious bundle. Your hands suddenly become locked into those of an old crone - I couldn't do anything for 3 days for fear of snapping my wrists.
Shop around for big knickers. M&S do not cater for ladies who have had a c-section - unless you want to look like your elderly grandma in non-flame retardant pants.
NEVER, EVER underestimate the power of sleep. Grab it whenever you can, even if it means pretending you have to go shopping. This way you can pull over and nod off in a lay by, or grab a truckers breakfast.
A changing table was something we didn't think was necessary, there was a spare room with a spare bed in it. NOTE TO SELF, a spare bed is a dreadful substitute, you will end up with a knackered back. I now have a stoop and a twisted spine, but thankfully we've got ourselves a table - our friend located one in a skip being used by our neighbours!
Visitors will bring you cake, cake and more cake. Chris's mum thought I was joking when I said, 'god, not another one'. Don't be afraid to ask for crisps and dip, much nicer and goes better with wine.
That your heart will never be empty of love again.
**
There's bound to be more, but it's safe to say I can't remember.....because as Leo twists and grabs at my boob those early days are now tinged with a golden glow (hindsight springs to mind) except the cake, I never, ever want a slice of the stuff again.
Ungrateful woman I am.
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