Saturday, November 6, 2010


I've just raced home from town for the warmth of four walls - I'm living at my parent's which is a shock at my age (!) but it's a guarantee the house will always be warm at this time of year!  It's freezing outside and I was trying to look a little casual with a big cardi wrapped around a 3/4 length top, big scarf wrapped around my big neck, skinny jeans (that I wriggle and squeeze into, whilst trying to avoid becoming distracted by the muffin top) cosy warm gloves that are pink edged and big suede boots without the risk of socks - as the friction inside makes my feet hot and I feel faint. 

Note to self, forget casual, remember COAT.

And as I sit here capturing the past week, I look up at the skylight and clock a pure blue sky above without a single cloud to be seen.  Is that not what we'd refer to as, SODS BLOODY LAW!?  Even so it's still bitterly cold, no matter the yellow orb, and the bare truth is I wouldn't be able to sit in the wintry November sunshine with a hope in hell of catching a tan, which would be heaven.  Hmmm....I may have to shoot off shortly just to make the most of that sharp icy air and harsh bright light and slip on my sunglasses and pretend to be famous. 

I'd forgotten that it gets dark in this corner of the world at 4.30pm and this I find difficult to embrace with an ounce of enthusiasm - pregnant and miffed, it doesn't get any better.  So how was your week?  Did you manage to fend off scary dwarf like trick or treaters, carve a pumpkin of beauty and eat your body weight in Haribo sweets?  I watched my mum create a toothy faced pumpkin for the benefit of Grace who stroked it and marvelled at the yellow flame flickering in his mouth with huge curiosity.  Sadly she didn't have the nerve for fireworks last night as the sparklers we had early evening made her leap behind a chair.  Instead I went out with friends and we ate burgers, hot dogs and drank a glass of warm red wine around a massive bonfire.  After all this time Guy Fawkes has never looked so good. 

I'm currently working 3 days a week for a company I was employed by 13 years ago....oh the pain of ground hog day!!  They contacted me having heard I was back in the country and asked if I was interested in helping them for a stint.  I was delighted to, and am secretly relieved that I've managed to purr my way down the phone to drum up sales within the travel industry - it helped that I was full of cold and had a scratchy voice for 10 days.  It's also keeping my brain active and my hands busy as clients ring up interested in booking adventure overland holidays to far flung destinations like Turkmenistan, Iran, Mongolia and those that are easier to find in the travel guide, Brazil, Namibia, Cambodia and China. 

Tuesday night I had a slight scare when I discovered some spotting after I'd been to the loo.  I thought this was probably normal due to the stitch I'd had in my cervix on Friday, but the same amount was there the next morning.  My brain hammered and my heart lept, so I rang the hospital for advice.  It was suggested that due to my history I should pop in for a quick examination and the sooner the better.  My mum dropped what she was doing and said she'd take the wheel.  She drove like Penelope Pitstop to get me through those double doors within 20 minutes of me having putting the phone down.  I was eventually seen and given an internal where I apologised for my hairy legs and hairy everything else ;) 

Due to not feeling any cramping, pulling, pain or discomfort, it was agreed that the spotting was possibly due to the cervix stretching against the stitch and everything would hopefully calm down within a day or two.  I was advised that if the bleeding continued, or got heavier I was to contact them immediately.  Before leaving I was able to listen to baby's heartbeat and was incredibly relieved as I heard the now familiar sound of a heard of mini New Forest ponies racing across wasteland.  Above all it made me realise how lucky I am to have a hospital down the road and medical assistance, if needed, available in a flash.  A feeling that's indescribable as it makes me acutely aware of how different it would be if I were in Africa....

My family and friends have been brilliantly supportive as we gradually spread the news of my pregnancy.  I'm surrounded near and far by great girlfriends with amazing words of encouragement, love and kindness.  My younger sister Abby is forever on the blower, telling me to take it easy and to rest my expanding body.  I did deep breathing and lounged about with a friend mid week - she happens to be a yoga teacher of note and just being around her makes my pulse slacken.  She made me sit in a nest of cushions and lay a blanket around my shoulders.  I half expected to be referred to as 'Warrior Mother Spirit' and to find myself beating a skin drum.  I tried not to nod off because of the relaxation I felt, coupled with the underfloor heating.  I lasted 20 minutes.

I have 3 girlfriends who are also pregnant with their second babies and I cannot believe I'm able to share our experiences together - it's a blessing and one that I'm loving.  My cousin Tory is 6 weeks behind me, Nic is 8 weeks ahead of me and Sarah is due to have her baby on the 1st January.  To have friends at the end of the phone, as well as a stone's throw away means we're able to chat each other's ears off about our worries, concerns and excitement - as well as those stories about dodgy hair growth, sweaty gussets, discharge and, 'why the f*** aren't I glowing when all the books say I should be'??!  Oh, and I've got the most itchiest of rashes all over my arms and it's driving me berserk.  Any suggestions at all would be greatly received as I'm going mad and behaving like a dog with fleas.

Speaking of dodgy hair growth, Chris rang me on Friday.  He'd just returned from a fishing trip with a bunch of mates.  They'd spent a few nights on an island in Lake Victoria sleeping in tents and drinking til dawn.  Interestingly he hates boats and is always sick and pretends it was because of something he'd eaten - not his weak sea legs.  He's all man is Chris.  Anyway he wanted to remind me that it was the month of MO-vember and not to be surprised when I next see him as....ta daaa...he'll be sporting a huge moustache.  I expressed ultimate confusion and extreme horror.  He said it's in aid of charity and as such he and his fellow friends are not shaving for 4 weeks.  In aid of my sanity I've told him a) if he doesn't shave it off he wont be allowed back into the country as he'll look like a terrorist, b) I wont want to see him looking like a big fur ball, c) facial hair, even when it is for charity, is very 70's and terrifying for small children and animals so I will not accompany him in public.

My unconventional marriage may just end up staying this way if the hair growth goes on - sadly I can't just point the finger at Chris this time, as tragically he may find me equally as hairy.

This could be my last chance, am off to capture some sunshine before it's too late.

1 comment:

anymommy said...

I love watching you gently revel in this experience. I am so happy for you. I know it's bittersweet. Though I hope you'll never experience another pain like the pain of losing Ella, I will warn you that all of motherhood is bittersweet. Every. damn. day. XO.